REAL LIFE MINISTRIES

MEN AND WOMEN’S ROLES IN MINISTRY STATEMENT

Introduction

Historical Christian beliefs have been and are being questioned by our culture, and increasingly by many churches. Real Life Ministries believes Jesus made it clear that He came, in part, to build His church which could not be overcome by the enemy (Matthew 16:18). His church was built by His Disciples/Apostles, who received the church design directly from Jesus. They followed Jesus’ directions when they formed the church in Acts and it indeed was powerful enough to spread throughout the whole world. They followed Jesus’ method of disciple making when forming that first church.

We at Real Life often teach locally and around the world that when Jesus sent His disciples to make disciples, He did not mean for them to do it however they chose. He meant, go do what I have done with you, with others. The book of Acts as well as the whole New Testament reveals that they did and it changed the world through the churches His disciples formed.

In the same way, when Jesus told His disciples to make disciples that would form His church, He was not telling them they could form any kind of church they wanted. Jesus’ directions for the church would be given to them via His Holy Spirit who would reveal all truth to them so that they could live it out and write it down for those at their time and for us in ours. The teachings of Jesus cannot be divorced from the methods and purposes of Jesus to get the results of Jesus. We believe that the further we get away from the Lord’s design for any part of our lives, the less that part works as designed. We are seeking to regain the Biblical definitions of the first church because anything less would be stepping onto the slippery slope of compromise. Our enemy does not care if we use Biblical words, as long as we don’t use their original definitions. He likes to change the meanings of words to dilute the power in Jesus’ original design.

Often, the enemy has twisted the truth:

Church (as Jesus designed it) has been reduced to something one attends, rather than a body to which one belongs and serves with, in the mission of God.
Pastors have become paid celebrities rather than equippers and shepherds of God’s sheep.
Worship has become an experience rather than a lifestyle of adoration and submission.
Love has become lust or attraction rather than a choice to lay down one’s life for another.
Marriage was designed as a lifetime commitment between a man and a woman but now has become optional, or disposable, and can include any two people who “love” each other.
Leadership has become a method for advancement rather than a commitment to servanthood.

When we allow these words to be stolen from the Lord and defined in the way they were not intended, the results are devastating. We cannot allow our culture or our enemy to shape us by changing that which was handed down to us by Jesus and recorded in divinely inspired Scriptures.

We must resist making changes based on current views, we must resist overcorrection just to make people less offended, and we must stick to historical, Biblical perspective.

The urge to seek to make people happy in our culture is to forsake the Lord who told us that the world would hate us. Rather, we must choose Jesus over even our families if need be (Matthew 10:32). Some may seek to change what they deem as less important doctrine that is offensive to the world, to reach a broader crowd with the gospel. However, the gospel is the most offensive thing there is to non-Christians! The Gospel tells us that all are lost and we cannot save ourselves. The Gospel tells us that only through Jesus can anyone be saved. The Gospel tells us we must surrender to Jesus and follow Him rather than do whatever we want.

“All scripture is God breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:16, emphasis added). Randomly dismissing that which is offensive directly opposes Jesus’s command to “teach all that I have commanded” (Matthew 28:20). This includes teaching on submission to authority and God-given roles in churches, homes, and even workplaces.

The Important Issues at Stake

How we deal with the issue of men’s and women’s roles in the church has a direct impact on the historic doctrine of the “inerrancy of scripture”.

Definition of terms

Inerrant – without error – infallible in the original text
Plenary verbal inspiration – every word inspired by God

Historically Christians have nearly unanimously believed that the scriptures were given by, as well as protected by, the Holy Spirit of God. Additionally, the historic understanding of “plenary verbal inspiration” of scripture, has been held by virtually all orthodox believers from the first century until very recent history.

Recently however, many Churches have changed their view on some subjects. Specifically, for the purpose of this position paper, we will look deeper into the men’s and women’s roles within the church setting. Prior to recent times there has been one predominant view which is called

Complementarianism. This view states that men and women have equal value but differing roles within the church. The two sexes (male and female), complement one another when understood, and practiced Biblically. The new emerging view is called Egalitarianism. This view understands men and women to have equal value as well, but also goes further to espouse that they also may have the same roles. For those who have this view, both men and women can and should function in the same exact roles. Gender does not play any part in how or where they lead or serve.

Here at Real Life we hold to the doctrine of Complementarianism (not Egalitarianism) for the following reasons.

The Bible is clear on the subject.
The first church heard and read the teachings directly from the inspired writers, and implemented what they believed the writers to mean based on those writings as well as their personal interactions with them.
The church for almost 2000 years agreed on the subject.

If we accept that the Bible is not God’s inspired Word and merely contains the writings of fallible men, then we are free to make changes to the structure of the church. If we say, as some do, that the Bible is a mix of God’s activity and the fallible activity of men, then we must answer the question, “who gets to decide which is which?” Who gets to decide? If scripture is not inerrant then we cannot know much for sure about any beliefs that establish historic Christianity. Do we vote on truth based on popularity? Do we dismiss something because we don’t like what it says? Paul, who most clearly teaches about women’s roles in the church, believes he is speaking Scripture given to him from the Lord (1 Thess. 2:13-14). If Paul is mistaken and his teaching has more to do with his cultural background, then there are real issues at stake. If he is wrong about this then what can we trust him about? If the early church believed he spoke and wrote from the Lord (1 Peter 1:21, 2 Peter 3:16), so much that they formed their lives and churches around his teaching, and even gave up their lives for what they believed, but Paul was wrong, what does this say for their discernment? If he is one of the strongest witnesses of the resurrected Christ and one who also passes on the words of Christ to us, and he is wrong or misguided, what does that lead to?

The early church did believe Paul and the other Apostles. They believed the disciples’ time with Jesus gave them the best ability to understand what Jesus truly meant by His words. The apostles/disciples were baptized in the Holy Spirit visibly and their words were confirmed by miraculous signs to authenticate that they spoke from the Lord (Hebrews 2:1-3). In addition, the early disciples of the disciples (the Apostolic Fathers), had the opportunity to ask questions about how to practically live out the commands. They did live them out in a specific way and built the church in the first century around those commands properly understood. That church changed the world in spite of opposition.

As it pertains to men’s and women’s roles, the early church chose men to be the leaders as Pastors/Elders/Overseers (just as Jesus had done with His twelve). They chose men who met qualifications for maturity as defined by the Lord and the writings of Paul. If this was the case then shouldn’t we also seek to interpret Scripture based on the original language (as it was interpreted by the first disciples)? The question we must ask is, “what new information did we receive in the last forty years that justifies the changes we are making to gender roles within the church?

We know that over the history of the church there are things that the church adopted and then passed down. Some are good and other things are negative. Our job in our current slice of history is to decide what is consistent with the Bible and the first church’s understanding and what is not. There are some things that may be handed down to us that are based around traditions past believers adopted and are good and should be repeated. Some should be discarded because they are added in much like what the Jews did in Jesus’ time; they had created ceremonies and extra duties not outlined in scripture. Jesus discarded them and taught His disciples to do the same. In the same way, we must seek to make sure we take nothing away from, nor add to, what God has given us. There are things that can be good and are not unbiblical but are rather a-biblical, meaning that there is nothing in scripture concerning it. In this case, we are free to proceed based on our conscience as long as it does not cause another to stumble (Romans 14). However, the issue of women’s roles in the church is not an “a”-biblical issue. It is clearly spelled out and we must allow it to shape our lives.

When today’s culture decides it wants to downplay one of the sexes’ importance in the home in a way that is inconsistent with scripture, we must reject it. If our culture seeks to move from two sexes to potentially many, or change marriage to suit homosexuality, or change leadership roles and responsibilities between men and women in the church arena, we should not be surprised. However, we must see it and reject it. All of us are assigned a slice of history to which we are responsible. What happens on our “shift”, in our personal lives, matters. We get to choose: slide with the culture being led by the enemy, or cling to the Lord, His Word, His design and His representatives (apostles and disciples).

Women’s Roles

We are addressing the issue of women’s roles in ministry here because we see this relatively new theology as another attempt to reject and attack God’s original plan for our lives in a way that has serious consequences. We acknowledge that many “Christians leaders” have caused this in part because they have downplayed the importance and value of women in the church. This abuse of Scripture cannot be tolerated. However, we cannot overcorrect by swinging the pendulum over to the other side and place Christ-like women into roles God intended for Christ-like men to fill. When we deny God’s given roles for men, we get a different set of problems. We believe that our responsibility is to go back to the beginning and play our part to lead the church towards Jesus’ divine design.

God’s Plan for the Sexes

We believe that God has designated that there are only two sexes—male and female. We believe that men and women are equal in essence, dignity and value and are complementary by divine design. Gender/sex does not merely represent a social construct but, instead, represents a reality present in every human from birth. From the opening pages of Scripture, we find that God, in His wisdom and providence, created two complementary sexes for our good and His glory. In light of His good created order, and the fact that men and women both share in divine image bearing, God intends for men and women to have different yet complementary roles and responsibilities in the church and home. These role distinctions do not arise from traditional or cultural definitions of masculinity and femininity but are an integral part of God’s plan for humanity, as revealed in Scripture. We should recognize them as God’s grace to men and women, protecting, preserving and practicing them for His glory, our joy, and for the sake of human flourishing (Gen. 2:18-25; 1 Cor. 11:2-16; 14:33-35; Eph. 5:22-33; 1 Tim. 2:8-15; 1 Pet. 3:1-7).

To reflect God’s beautiful and effective design as Real Life Ministries, we desire to articulate and embody a theological vision of complementarianism. Specifically, when it comes to the consideration of women in ministry, we want to be obedient to Scripture, honor the Lord, honor women, and give opportunities for women to flourish in their roles at Real Life.

Gender, the role of women in scripture, and our foundation for life and ministry all start with the understanding that the Bible is God’s inspired, inerrant, and authoritative Word. Any attempt to understand personhood, gender, and sex must begin with divine revelation and God’s created order.

First, we believe that the Bible clearly teaches that all Christians, both men and women (two sexes), will be involved in the ministry of the church. Jesus welcomed women among His followers, teaching them (Luke 10:39) and involving them in His ministry (Luke 8:1-3). In the other inspired New Testament scriptures, Phoebe, a supporter and servant of the church of Cenchreae, is commended by Paul and was likely the courier for Paul’s epistle to the Romans (Rom. 16:1-2).

Euodia and Syntyche labored with Paul “side-by-side” in the gospel (Phil. 4:3). Priscilla, and Aquila

(wife and husband) are described as “explaining the way of God more accurately” to Apollos (Acts 18:26). Romans 16 is especially enlightening with its many women honored and credited by Paul as co-workers in the ministry of the gospel. We celebrate the Biblical picture of men and women serving the Church of the Lord Jesus Christ together. When we don’t empower both sexes to engage and use their God-given gifts, in complementarian partnership, both genders suffer, and the mission of the Church – to proclaim the gospel and make disciples of all nations – suffers.

Second, we believe that the primary relationship in the local church between men and women is the relationship of siblinghood, brothers and sisters united in Christ. These relationships should be marked by honor, care and sacrifice for one another.

Third, we affirm that equal involvement of men and women in the church does not necessitate interchangeable involvement. Although men and women are described and established as equals throughout Scripture, we believe the Bible reserves the office of Elder/Pastor/Overseer (interchangeable words) specifically for qualified men (1 Timothy 3:1-7; Titus 1:5-9).

By office we mean: the formally titled and ongoing designated role of leaders of the church. Others may perform some of the same functions as an Elder/Pastor/Overseer, however the designated leadership role is an office appointed by already existing Eldership in the church (1 Tim.

5:17; Titus 1:5-7; 1 Pet. 5:1-2).

Often, people make the distinction between Pastors and Elders in their organizational structure, but scripture reveals that Pastor and Elder are interchangeable words. To make things clear at our church, we have organized our leadership structure in the following ways.

All Elder/Pastors/Overseers are qualified males who have been set aside/ordained by the Eldership team as a whole.
The qualifications for Elders/Pastors/Overseers are found in Titus 1:5-9, and 1 Timothy 3:1-8.
For organizational clarity, Real Life has designated a difference between an Elder and a Pastor in the following ways.
1. An Elder is unpaid by the church (other than the Sr. Pastor who holds a dual role of Elder/Pastor).
2. A Pastor (other than the Sr. Pastor) has met the qualifications for being an Elder but is not an Elder because he is paid a salary for his ministry vocation.
3. An Elder works on the unpaid team to oversee doctrine, set and oversee the budget, oversee the staff through their designated authority by the Sr. Pastor.
4. Ordination for unpaid Elders is different than legal ordination for vocational pastors in that one is for financial reasons with legal ramifications.
5. All Pastors and Elders who have been set aside/ordained by the Eldership team as a whole, are entrusted with the responsibility of representing the Lord and Real Life. They also are entrusted to perform oversight over any ministerial duties related to the work of the church, such as seeking the Lord for His vision and implementation of practical ministry, shepherding, overseeing, caring for the physical needs, financial accountability, and praying for the church.
6. Only Ordained Pastors at Real Life will oversee sacerdotal duties (duties designated by the government to a paid Pastor or Priest).

In regards to the issue at hand, the Elder/Pastor/Overseer role is filled by men because it is one of the Biblical qualifications for the role (“the husband of but one wife”, 1 Tim. 3:2).

Deacons (official appointed Ministry leaders)

The word Deacon (a servant or minister), is described In the New Testament as one who is given an official ministry role, to fulfill a ministry task assigned to them by those in the office of Elders within the church. The first example of this is found in Acts 6, where seven men were chosen to oversee the church’s work in taking care of the Greek widows. Later, Paul gave qualifications for Deacons (appointed Ministers) in 1 Timothy 3:8-13. To be an official Deacon (Minister) of the church, you had to be identified by the Elders and approved for service as those who represent the church (and Jesus, most importantly). We later see Paul identifying women who also had an official role as Deaconess (Minister). In Romans 16:1, Phoebe is called a deaconess. At Real Life, while we have only male Elders and Pastors (remember that these words are interchangeable), we do not use the term Deacon/Deaconess, but rather “Minister” for those who function in what we deem deacon/deaconess roles. To be considered a Minister or official deacon, you must be evaluated for spiritual maturity, gifted in the assigned role, trained as a part of our staff team, then hired part time or full. We have many godly, qualified women who fit into this category. They, like all of our designated leaders, work under designated authority, and over those they have responsibility for, in a humble and godly way.

Leadership Defined

In shepherding, overseeing, caring for and praying for the local church, Elders/Pastors practice sacrificial male headship. Leadership is not a privilege to be used but a responsibility to take on. The primary role of leadership in the church is one of leading like Jesus did – sacrificial, loving, empowering leadership. We will not use the word reserved by God’s Word for men

(Pastor/Elder/Overseer) to address women in a ministry role. This creates confusion for those who honestly seek to study Scripture according to the original language. We will only ordain men for a role reserved for an Elder/Pastor in scripture. If a role in our church requires that an Elder/Pastor be given the responsibility and title, then it must be filled by a qualified male.

Definitions of Ordain and of to “Set Aside” – distinctions

Ordination is the historical and legal term used to describe the establishment of an individual into the office of Elder/Pastor/Overseer in the local church. In the United States, this carries with it some tax benefits and protections for someone who is paid vocationally for his role in leadership.
Setting aside for the office is often another term for the same process. However, at Real Life we designate this term for those who become unpaid Elder/Pastor/Overseers.

Our church will hire women to fill Ministry roles (Deaconess) where they meet the qualifications of the role they are hired for. Remember that every leader (male or female) should, as mature disciples, learn to pastor people, but that is different from being given the title and office of Pastor or Elder (paid or unpaid). In such cases where qualified women are identified and given such roles of leadership over women and children, we will hire them and call them Ministry Leaders. This establishes them as people of special character and with responsibility of leadership over certain areas of our church. We do the same thing with men we hire here who have not been ordained as an Elder or Pastor.

Fourth, we believe that 1 Timothy 2:11-12 teaches that women should not serve in a position of ongoing and primary Teacher in the gender-combined worship services, small groups, or ministries. However, when Paul says in 1 Timothy 2:12 “I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but must remain silent,” there are several important things to point out.

The word silent is not the word for “mute”, but simply means a “quiet, submissive, teachable spirit.”
The verb tense for “teach” is present indicative, depicting the “ongoing action of Teacher/teaching” in front of the organized gathering of combined male and female believers. Therefore, we see this command as applying to the position of the main or primary Teachers in the worship service or small group (think Lead Pastor or Campus Pastor, or assigned Teaching Pastors, or volunteer group leader in other settings). Remember that the early church, though organized and large, often met in homes consistently and together in large groups occasionally as they were able and space allowed. An early church meeting would have met in a home and therefore led by a male leader guiding the church meetings.
We do see times (special occasions) for the entire gathered church, when it may be appropriate for women to teach in combined gender settings with a male teacher sharing the teaching role. In such cases, it would be made clear that a testimony, or teaching was for a specific and special purpose (such as a teaching designed for those married or single women in the congregation, or when we preach on a specific subject a woman has expertise in). Some would say that Paul was forbidding women from ever speaking in the organized church service, but if Paul was forbidding women from speaking whatsoever, this would contradict other scriptures advocating for women doing this in the worship service (1 Cor. 11:5; 14:26; Col. 3:16).
The Greek word for “authority over” can often depict the attempt to “usurp authority over,” presumably over the Elders and Lead Pastor/Elder, or God’s delegated authority in other ways, an action not permitted by Scripture for anyone (men or women). In other cases, authority over men would mean that they had consistent roles where they had oversight of males spiritually and organizationally. However, we believe that staff positions where spiritual and pastoral oversight of males is normative for the role, male leadership should

lead that ministry within the church. If there are roles where a woman is in leadership of males administratively, special conditions will be set to include male leadership in appropriate aspects of the role they have. The woman leading the ministry will seek partnership with an appropriate male in the areas that concern pastoral leadership including any ongoing teaching of the word and spiritual care and accountability.

Reasons for Boundaries in these Areas

We believe that God has set the conditions for leadership for several important reasons. Ongoing, honest, transparent relationship with the opposite sex creates conditions that can be dangerous for people of the opposite sex to engage in together. So often transparent yet innocent relationships begin from a positive place and end up in dangerous territory when people become intimate about spiritual and relational matters. Here at Real Life we believe in transparent, honest relationships as a condition for good leadership on every team. However, because of mixed company environments, we believe there needs to be special care taken to make sure the enemy does not have room to cause inappropriate relationships to form.
We know that the church in America is primarily populated by women (60% in some studies). The reason in part has been because male leadership has been absent. In some cases, women have demanded the same roles as men have and it has affected the church in negative ways. In other cases, godly women have had to step in or there would be little left of the church they are part of. This often has occurred for many reasons. Potentially because men have made sinful decisions to abdicate their God-given responsibility. In other cases, men were not taught that they had a place to play on God’s team. By continuing to embrace women, but also reinstituting the role of men here at Real Life, we have been blessed with many more men involved. Men who become mature in Christ because they are being discipled, play the role in their homes that God intended them to play. Mature men who lead as Christ would have them (love sacrificially), will create healthy churches that will in turn create healthier homes where women and children thrive in the faith. Therefore, we seek to be a church that shows men that they are to lead and then shows them how.
We believe that the church is to be the place where people are discipled so that they can reproduce in their homes what they see in church. In the book of Ephesians, we see a particular order of Paul’s teachings. He starts out speaking about salvation and what the Holy Spirit does

in us. He then moves to the church where he spends a majority of his time. Next, he moves to the home and then to the work environment (slaves and masters). Why does he talk about church rather than home first? The answer is that the Ephesian people had come from pagan homes where the design God had for the home (and everything else) has been lost. A disciple of Jesus has been born again into a new relationship with the Father and a new relationship with the Father’s family – the church. In the Family of God, people learn what it looks like to be a father (they see spiritual fathers in the spiritual family). They see what it looks like to be a mother, a child, etc. In the spiritual family, you see what submission and love look like so that you can lead change from whatever position you are in, in the home by reproducing what you have seen in the church. When we confuse the language and the roles in the church, it leads to confused roles in the home. Scripture tells us that the husband and father is to be the head of the home, but if we take away the right roles within the church, where do they learn what that looks like in the home? Because of the lack of true spiritual male leadership, men and boys have become confused and passive or abusive and angry. We desire young men and boys to see what a Godly male servant leader looks like in the church. In the same way, we desire godly women to set the example for our young women. We have gender-specific ministries that help to reinforce the differences.

We believe that in the past women were not as important as they were considered by God to be. They were not allowed to use their gifts and abilities anywhere in some cases and were treated as second hand citizens. In response some have overcompensated by elevating women and devaluing men. By downplaying the value of men, we have created a new problem. Scripture makes it clear that God created men to play a role in the design of creation, the church, the home, and in the world. Their role is functional but also relational in nature. In other words, they have a positional role that they are to use in humility and for the good of others. By the same token, women have a role as helper/partner in all the same areas. They also should be celebrated and free to be who God says they are to be. We do not allow either to become more or less than God made them to be.
To summarize, we believe the primary and normative leader/teacher role in the main worship service is an Elder/Pastor role, and consequently, not a position that women should hold. However, we do not believe this prohibition forbids women from sharing the Word in a supportive role. Hence, in our church and local context, we define this supportive role as assisting the Lead/Campus Pastor/Teaching Pastor in the worship service by helping to lead worship, pray, give testimony, and share scripture, as well as on special occasions participating in the teaching time. We have positions in the service (such as a host) where women will give announcements, help us celebrate what God is doing, and welcome those who have come. We have women teaching in women’s events as well so that they can use their gift of preaching and teaching. Therefore, we believe the Bible supports the fact that women will be involved in all ministries of the church, apart from the position of Elder/Pastor, and Lead/Campus Pastor, or positions of Pastor over mixed genders in ministries.

Key Scriptures and Historical Understanding

Galatians 3:28 – While this verse has been used to teach equal “roles” for women in all areas of life, including the home and church, the context is not “roles” but clearly “salvation”. It is simply teaching that we are all one in Christ and equal in personhood as recipients and members of God’s salvation. Equality in personhood doesn’t mean “sameness” in roles or positions. For example, a parent and a child are both “equals” in personhood, value and importance, but not in roles or position. There are many other examples of this distinction (boss/employee, police/citizen, military officer/soldier, coach/player, etc.). All are equals in personhood but distinct in role/position.

This verse was used in the early 1970’s and 80’s as the proof text for the change in the main line denominational churches to approve women in pastoral roles for the first time. Their newfound idea was that Paul was making the point that in Christ male and female distinctions no longer existed. The desire of this new orthodoxy proponents was to declare that women could now be Pastors/Elders in the church. At the time, many theologians rightly countered this movement by asserting that Paul’s point was not role but value. In Galatians, Paul’s main issue was with the

Judiazers who were trying to force the Gentiles into becoming Jews before they could become Christ’s disciples. This is why Paul added that there was no longer Jew or Gentile. Further, they pointed out that Paul elsewhere declared there were positions set aside for men in both the church and the home. Paul was not contradicting himself but rather dealing with a different issue in each context. This had always been the perspective of the historic church to that point. Many rightly pointed out that if you began to teach this perspective it would lead to the idea that there were no longer male and female designations in Christ at all. In other words, it would lead to the idea that marriage no longer would need to be between a man and a woman because there are no such things in Christ. It would lead to people claiming to be Christian who could say there are no such designations of two genders and so on. Indeed, the conservative theologians warned these new teachers that they were opening up doors that were clearly meant to be closed. At the time, they scoffed at the idea that their new teachings would lead to where we are today. They merely wanted to open the door to women in ministry that had always been closed before. However, history now proves that others took this new doctrine to its logical conclusion. History also proves that those many who started out wanting only women as pastors have now shifted further as well.

The mainline churches are in the process of dying and many believe it is because of the loss of the Lord’s blessing resulting from their unwillingness to be the church God designed in Scripture.

1 Corinthians 11:3-16 – This passage teaches at least four core and timeless Biblical principles.

Women are to show modesty in dress/appearance and they are to be known for humility before God and His established authorities in their lives. At the time Paul wrote this, for a woman to have an unveiled head and/or short hair was a sign of immodesty, “availability”, or outright rebellion to the authority of their husbands if they were married. This would have brought shame on herself and her husband and ultimately on God, as Christians represent Him.

Question: Many have sought to make the point that if we are to take scripture seriously then shouldn’t we also teach that women should cover their head and refuse to put on makeup or jewelry? They say, “If the church holds to historic women’s roles, shouldn’t we also hold to women’s dress code?”

Answer: One of the rules for proper interpretation of scripture is what is called the historical principle of hermeneutics. This principle tells us we must ask the question “What did this command mean for the people who lived at that time in their place in history?” In other words, rather than merely teach women to cover their heads, ask the question “why were they told to cover their heads and what did it mean?” In the Jewish culture of the day, it was taught that to uncover your head was to mean that you were not under the authority of your husband. It was an act of rebelliousness and defiance. A specific group or kind of women – namely prostitutes, wore makeup. So, what was Paul saying then? He was teaching the believers of his day to be under authority and not dress provocatively like a prostitute. The principle we must follow today is that of humility and submission before designated authority. Women must not dress provocatively as if they were to be associated with prostitutes in our culture today. So, Paul’s directives (really God’s), would be directed at us in different ways today but would still hold to the same principle.

This passage teaches the importance of God-given gender distinction and complementarian ideals. For a husband to abdicate his God-given headship in his marriage and family, symbolized in that culture by covering his head, would have brought dishonor to himself and the Lord.
This passage teaches the importance of God-given gender/sex distinctions, equality, value, and mutuality.
This passage teaches wives should respect her husband’s Biblical headship (we believe that the words “men/women” in this passage are best interpreted as “husband/wife”). Her participation (“prayer & prophecy”) in the church gathering should respectfully fall under this headship. In this text, we believe the behavior of the Corinthian women, based on the historical context of what those actions meant at the time, suggests disobedience to God in these four Biblical principles that are ultimately rooted in the introduction of sin at the time of Creation. Paul did not make an argument based on his cultural context; he made his argument based on the creation account in Genesis. Jesus did the same when He answered the question posed by the Pharisees concerning marriage and divorce (Matthew 19:3-5).

The Source of the Problem for All People: The Curse

All human brokenness stems from the curse in Genesis and has affected relationships in every part of our world. Scripture reveals God’s desire to save us from our sin and take us back to that place that existed for us before the curse. Ultimately that will be the new heaven and new earth for eternity. As disciples of Jesus we are being led back to the design of God that humanity has drifted so far from.

It was only after the fall that the battle between the sexes began, and in Christ, we are moving back to our perfect design. Paul also makes it clear that his words came from God and were to be read in every church, not just Corinth. This proves that Paul was not just addressing the Corinthian church because it had a specific problem but to all churches everywhere.

Understanding Scripture Correctly

Hermeneutics is the study of proper understanding of scripture. Mentioned above was the historical principle (how was the scripture understood in the context from which it was written). There is also the grammatical principle where we looked into the Greek meaning used in scripture that referred to Pastor and Elder. If a woman cannot be an Elder, then she also cannot be a Pastor. We call our Women who are qualified to be hired for a needed role for which they qualify paid Ministers, or Ministry team leaders. This term is accurate to scripture and distinguishes women’s roles and titles from men’s. As we have already established above, though every mature believer pastors those around them, it is not the same as having the office of Pastor/Elder.

Another principle of hermeneutics that applies now is called the synthesis principle of hermeneutics. It states that we allow Scripture to interpret Scripture. This means in part that we need to understand all that the Scriptures say on the subject under investigation rather than cherry picking one verse by itself out of the context of all of Scripture. When we look at 1 Corinthians 14:26-40, which tells us that women should remain silent in the church, it cannot mean that they are not to speak. First, grammatically we must ask the question – what is the Greek word for silent? We know that 1 Corinthians 11:5 tells us that women should have their head covered when they pray or prophesy in the church. The historical principle tells us what the head covering is about. The fact that women were praying and prophesying means that they were not being silent in the church (synthesis principle).

1 Corinthians 14:26-40 – The phrase “women should remain silent in the churches” can’t mean absolute silence of women in the church since this would contradict verses where women do speak and share the prophetic word in the church (1 Cor. 11:5; 14:26; Col 3:16).

1 Corinthians 11:5 points to the fact that speaking a prophetic message was to be done with her head covered (under authority to the Elders and or her husband). The word prophecy has some nuances to it in the Greek as well (grammatical principle). It can mean to forth-tell (preach or teach) or to foretell (prophecy as a message from the Holy Spirit to the group or individual). In one sense that would mean a preacher is one who prophesies when he preaches. Or in another sense it can mean that a person is giving a divine message of prophecy from the Lord.

When the Lord gave a message from Himself through a woman (which He did from time to time in the Old Testament, as with Deborah or Huldah), and indeed did it also in the New Testament (the seven daughters of Philip), it did not mean that they were to be the teacher in the organized setting of the church. By this we mean teaching about the prophecies that they were given. They were used by God to give the prophecy, and then the message was tested and expounded via teaching through the qualified leaders. Remember, at that time they did not have the New Testament in its entirety as we do now, so the Holy Spirit would use people in the church to deliver a direct message. In this sense, it would not be a teaching to the congregation about Scripture but a teaching directly from the Spirit of God. So, this “remain silent” statement must be forbidding a certain kind of speaking. We only need to look at the context for clarification, which is unmistakably maintaining order in the organized church service. The examples given in this context are speaking in tongues, speaking words of prophecy, and women inappropriately disrupting the service. “Absolute silence” for all tongues-speakers, or for all words of prophecy, was not what Paul was teaching, since he advocates for both (1 Cor. 14: 26-32). The passage simply teaches that an appropriate order for this participation is what matters. So, concerning women, the best interpretation given the context, and affirmed historically in the church, is not that women should always stay silent in the church service, but that they shouldn’t disrupt and talk out of turn. In the context, we also see that the Elders/Pastors role in the context was to test and approve what was being said by the one prophesying (potentially supernaturally) in the church service. In that case the Elders were to decide if what was said came from the Spirit of God or not. They would have understood what was taught in the past (by the Apostles and approved teachers) well enough to have recognized a deviation. Women, like the “out of order” prophecy and tongues speakers, are commanded like the men, to stop disrupting the service, and in the case of women, to talk to their husbands about it later (v.35).

Affirmations and Denials

Affirmations and denials that encompass our beliefs on gender and the role of women in ministry:

We affirm that both men and women have been created in the image of God and are entitled to the privileges and held accountable to the responsibilities that come with reflecting our Creator.

We deny that neither gender has been given or is entitled to greater dignity in society, the home, the church, or the Kingdom of God.

We affirm that both men and women are needed and necessary for the health and ministry of the church. Godly men and women should be visible partners in the corporate life of the church, deploying their diverse gifts for the good of the body. Simply put, all Christians contribute to the ministry of the church.

We affirm that some women (just like some men) have the gift of teaching and preaching, as well as leadership gifting’s’ and callings. These should be used in the right Biblical contexts – the older women (meaning age or wisdom) are to teach the younger women. Those with these gifts also have the authority to teach youth and children. Those with leadership abilities should be consulted and listened to in every area of the church if we are to receive the full wisdom of God, given through His people. Leadership gifting and insights are sought and given in many ways, but leading visibly in front of the gender mixed congregation is the role of men according to scripture. Just as a husband facilitates the use of his wife’s gifts and listens to her counsel, and makes wise decisions as a result, so it is within the church.

We deny that the church can flourish without brotherly/sisterly partnership.

We deny that a church can exist in which the men flourish and the women do not, or vice versa.

We affirm that the roles of Elder, Lead/Campus Pastor, and pastoral roles where leadership of both sexes, along with the ongoing, primary Teacher in the worship services, are reserved for qualified men. Elders/Pastors are distinctly responsible for overseeing the church (1 Tim. 5:17; Titus 1:7; 1 Pet. 5:1-2; 1 Tim. 3:2; 2 Tim. 4:2; Titus 1:9; 1 Tim. 2:11,12).

We deny that the role of Elder or Pastor being withheld from women diminishes their importance in the church. The indispensable help women were created and called on to give can and should be exercised in membership and co-partnership on the church staff and in all manner of roles/offices in the church, except in those reserved for qualified men.

We affirm that all members of the church should be in glad submission to the Elders, and ultimately, in glad submission to the Lordship of Jesus Christ, the Head of the Church.

We deny that women are subject to the leadership and authority of men. A woman is to submit to the authority of her husband. But both men and women, are to submit to the authority of the leadership of their church as well as to human authority unless they are asked to sin against God’s clear dictates in scripture – Hebrews 13:17, 1 Peter 5:5, Romans 13:1, 1 Peter 2:13.

We affirm further, Biblical submission is not indicative of subordination or inequality, as seen in the Son’s submission to the Father (Phil. 2:1-11; 1 Cor. 11:3). Humility is a growing characteristic of every believer.

We affirm that submission to authority has its Biblical limitations. If those in authority ask you to sin (a clear issue of what the Bible defines as sin, and not just something you prefer not to do) then we must obey the Lord and His Word rather than disobey God. The heart of a mature believer is one of humility, and there is a desire to be a peace-maker. Scripture tells us that wisdom that comes from above is peace-loving (James 3:15-17). As believers, even if we must decide to resist a specific command from a leader, it is done in a spirit of peace and there is a desire to work things out and restore relationship. We do not fight like the devil for the things of God. If there is a problem that needs to be addressed, we will work through the Matthew 18 process for restoration; go to the person who has sinned against us personally first then bring someone else with us then take it before the Elders, and so on.

We affirm that complementarianism, rightly practiced, will lead to the flourishing of both sexes.

We deny any version of complementarianism or theological position that leads to the subjugation, abuse or neglect of any man or woman. We strongly denounce any distorted view of Scripture that contributes to the belief that Biblical manhood or womanhood includes or permits practices such as marginalization, subjugation, intimidation, neglect, or any form of abuse.

We affirm that the mandates concerning Biblical Headship applies to the church and home but not to secular organizations or Christian organizations. We acknowledge that there are also

Christian “parachurch” organizations that are not considered “the church” as God defines it in His Word. In such Christian endeavors, women can and do lead/teach in schools, Christian universities, businesses, Christian conferences etc. If a ministry is considered an official “church” ministry or function, then the standards for churches and women leadership roles apply. If a Christian ministry endeavor is considered a “parachurch” ministry then it is obviously up to the leadership of that ministry. However, as believers, we understand that Gods Word is a light unto our path and has principles that should guide us in every area of our lives (such a male and female interactions, being above reproach in our conduct with the opposite sex, etc.).

We affirm that Biblical Headship is a compassionate, sacrificial, servant leadership like Christ exhibited. This headship is a God-given, delegated “authority” role, but must include ultimate submission and accountability to God, and mutual submission to others (Eph. 5:21).

We deny any version of Headship as being a license to be domineering, inconsiderate, abusive, or selfish in any way. Tragically, great harm has been done in the misunderstanding of Headship that lacks a servant’s heart by husbands and Elders/Pastors. Husbands and Elders bear the greater responsibility before God for the home and church, respectively (Hebrews 13:17, James 3:1).

We affirm that all men and women have been created in the image of God, whether single or married.

We deny that single men and women must be married to be meaningful participants in the corporate life of the church.

We deny that single men possess any authority over single women. The way that they love and serve their sisters should not patronize, victimize or show force, but rather should be the fruit of brotherly love, and vice versa.

We recognize that some will find our position and practice on women in ministry far too conservative. We also recognize that others will find it far too progressive. We ask for grace and charity from both as we focus on the primary task of making disciples of Jesus Christ.

Additionally, we believe it is important to note that a theological confession of complementarianism does not necessarily result in uniform complementarian practice. In fact, most complementarian churches do not align completely in all areas of scriptural interpretation, ministry titles, ministry roles and positions. Consequently, we are eager to work with brothers and sisters, churches and other ministries who view complementarian issues differently than we do.

Professional/Organizational

Here at Real Life, the combined Eldership has designated the roles of Lead Pastor and Campus Pastor as reserved for Elders/Pastors/qualified men. We will also designate ordination to qualified men who lead mixed gender ministries. We seek to hire men for roles that shepherd both men and women collectively. We do hire women for every other role, for the health of the church within the framework outlined below. We will not ordain women with a Pastoral or Elder title but we will hire women as Ministry Leaders who have a pastoral role over other women and children. When women do lead ministries where men are a part, the pastoral parts of the role will be shared with a qualified male leader. This gives both men and women opportunities to advance and grow in leadership in appropriate levels of our organization.

Children and Youth Ministries

Here at Real Life we affirm that women are welcomed as leaders in the children and youth arena. Remember that the scriptures affirm that males are to lead within the combined gender realm within the church. However, the scriptures do not specify a specific age of manhood (when a boy becomes a man). At different times in history, and in different cultures around the world, the age of adulthood is inconsistent. With this in mind, we lack a Biblical mandate, so our common practice will be that once a student has finished our high school ministry (17-19 years of age), we will see them as entered into adulthood and we will shift how we lead them.

We do seek to remember sex/gender distinctions between men and women and desire to have age appropriate, and gender specific leadership wherever possible even within our youth and children’s ministries. Our priority will be to have male spiritual authority as the primary Bible teachers in our gender combined high school ministry environments just as we do with the adults. We see the teen/young adult season as one of transition from childhood to adulthood and want to do our best to prepare both genders/sexes for their God-given roles in their adult lives. When we break into gender specific groups (consistent with their sex at birth), we want women leading women and girls, and men leading men and boys. However, there may be times when the sexes are combined that a woman teacher with special experience or expertise will be encouraged to teach or lead where special circumstances apply.

The Worship Services-Practical application at Real Life

Every member of the church body actively participates in our weekend worship services, not just those who are on the platform. Every platform role in our worship service is open to both men and women, except the role of ongoing, primary Teacher. Where and if there are parts of the weekend gender blended service that requires teaching (such as communion and baptism, or teaching through a passage designed to inspire worship), we seek to have a male leader do the teaching. We do desire to have both men and women on stage so that those who come to the church can see that worship is something in which both sexes participate and partner in. Every qualified member, under the direction and oversight of the Lead/Campus Pastor is invited to pass out the elements of communion, and host (i.e. give announcements and celebrate what God has done that week).

If a woman is acting as the “up front” leader for the worship segment of a blended service, we desire to have a qualified male partner in the leading, and available to do any teaching that the service requires. If we have a qualified female lead the worship ministry department (a campus) they will work closely with the Sr. Pastor, Campus lead, or Executive Pastor that oversees that ministry to guarantee that the spiritual headship requirements of leadership within the church is met.

Baptisms will be performed by those approved by the pastoral staff member in charge of baptisms at each campus. We desire that men baptize men, but in cases where a wife has played a key role in the salvation journey of their husband, then they will partner with a man to perform the baptism. In cases of baptism for women and children, women are encouraged to perform the baptism. But remember all pastors are seeking to equip people to lead in their homes and disciple everywhere. Where it is appropriate, we want to encourage others to baptize who they have affected with their lifestyle.

Qualified men will lead the directed prayer and communion meditation time as we consider those teaching to the mixed gender congregation. All other elements of platform ministry in the worship service (prayer, worship leading, testimony, supportive teaching on special occasions, etc.), are open to qualified men and women. Other ministries and mixed-gender small group environments (Life Group, Specialty Life Groups, Student Ministries) should be led (or at least co-led) by men if it is a mixed group. Our ultimate goal is a male/female team approach to the discipleship of men and women in the group/ministry. Co-discipleship in the group doesn’t mean that male and female leaders are interchangeable or lead in the exact same way, but as co-disciple-makers, the man and the woman operate in their roles according to gifting. A man will be the primary facilitator/teacher in this team approach.

Mixed-gender classes, conference speaking, and seminars that exist outside of a formal gathering we call church services, may be taught/facilitated by both men and women if approved by a Team of Pastors and/or Elders (examples: leadership training, classes, specific skills training, etc.). Gender-specific teaching and group environments are taught by a leader of the same gender. Men teach men’s groups/environments, and women teach women’s groups/environments. We believe the officiating of weddings at Real Life should be led by a male Pastor (or an Elder approved/licensed qualified man) in order to best represent complementarian marriage and

Biblical headship in the home. This is also considered a sacerdotal duty and therefore requires ordination which is reserved for men. Qualified women may participate in officiating weddings when assisting a male Pastor. We believe the officiating of funerals at Real Life should involve a male Pastor presence in order to best model Biblical Elder headship and shepherding in that mixed-gender audience. Qualified women may participate in officiating funerals when assisting a male Pastor.