Why is it, that when many young adults leave home, they also choose to leave the faith they grew up in and never go back? What is happening to cause this?
We’ve all seen good parents who do their best to raise their children to love Jesus, then end up having to watch their children choose the world instead. That is not the situation I am talking about here.
So – why do I think the church in America is in decline? Why are so many young adults leaving? I would say that for the most part, the church-world suffers from this epidemic because it is primarily ignorant of what real parenting looks like. Not stupid, just ignorant.
Two-thirds (66 percent) of American young adults who attended a Protestant church regularly for at least a year as a teenager say they dropped out between the ages of 18 to 22. LifeWay Research
I believe this is because there has been a shortage of real discipleship within the church.
I truly think that the reason we are losing our children from the faith, and the reason the Church in America is in decline, is because we have not discipled our parents who in turn do not disciple their kids.
Many adults have unfortunately grown up in a system in which their lives have been built around work, sports, or even their family – rather than Jesus.
In order to break this cycle and change it – they would have to completely rebuild their life around Jesus and His definition of a disciple.
Sadly, most will not do this.
Most will simply find a church that gives them what they want – without requiring them to change their lives or be made uncomfortable. Because change is hard.. being uncomfortable is hard..
Most will simply find a church that gives them what they want - without requiring them to change their lives or be made uncomfortable. #discipleship Share on X
You know what else is hard? Being a disciple.
We often say – discipleship may be simple, but it is not easy. Luke 9:23 – “Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.”
When discipleship isn’t lived out within the church because people are too busy, or they don’t see that church is so much more than just a place you go to once in a while, church affects the home in several ways.
Parents don’t know how to be spiritual fathers and mothers because the best they got growing up was a conversation about it. They never actually saw it modeled in their own parent’s lives, which means they have no example to follow in their own family.
Consequently, people attend church rather than becoming part of it – at best, they bring their kids to church so that the children’s minister or youth pastor can teach their kids what they need to know to be a Christian.
When parents don’t know how to disciple and have not become mature themselves, any attempt to represent Jesus to their kids can create real problems. Children may learn that it’s a nice idea, but they can’t really do much in practice.
Families have separated the ‘Church’ sphere from the rest of the sphere’s in their lives. And not only have they placed it as a separate part, they have relegated it to last place in importance. They have become so immersed in the world that Church becomes something they fit in when and where they make time for it. If your children are watching you put God on the back burner why would you ever expect them to become a disciple of His?
Following are a few of the reasons the other 1/3 of Young Adults stayed in the church – according to Lifeway Research
Those who stayed saw the church as an important part of their entire life. When asked why they stayed in church, more than half say the church was a vital part of their relationship with God (56 percent) and that they wanted the church to help guide their decisions in everyday life (54 percent).
Around 4 in 10 (43 percent) say they wanted to follow the example of a parent or other family member.
Similar numbers say they continued to attend because church activities were a big part of their life (39 percent), they felt church was helping them become a better person (39 percent), or they were committed to the purpose and work of the church (37 percent).
The reason I am writing this post is not to shame parents whose children are not walking with the Lord now that they are grown. What I want to do is to remind those of us who are doing our best to be disciples of Jesus of how important it is we be discipling others.
When we live out the life of being and making disciples of others, it makes an impact for generations to come – actually for eternity. When the people we are discipling begin living it out, their children will see God made a priority in their home, They will see their parents living out the fruit of the Spirit that comes from abiding in God.
When we live out the life of being and making disciples of others, it makes an impact for generations to come. #discipleship Share on XMore discipleship in the church will eventually lead to parents who are able to model discipleship in their home, which will lead to children who, rather than wanting to leave the church – will go out into their community and lead more people into the body of Christ.
Real discipleship must include relationship where real teaching can happen. Real teaching includes questions and answers –accountability—transparency –and modeling.
This means we join Him in His mission, rather than demand He join us in ours. This changes both how we live – and what we live for.
You may also be interested in the following posts:
Why Believe: Are You Arming Your Kids To Take A Stand For Jesus?
How To Identify And Win Back The Prodigals In Your Life
The Process Of Disciple Making – The Discipleship Wheel (Free Resource!)
