Nobody’s perfect, right?
That’s something we all know, but in leadership—especially in the church—it’s easy to forget. Sometimes we think leaders need to have all the answers, to be flawless examples. But the truth is, if we’re committed to developing people, then we have to embrace growth—both in ourselves and in those we lead.
At Real Life Ministries, we don’t just hire people from the outside to fill leadership roles. Almost all our staff and elders have been raised up from within the church. That means we’re constantly coaching, mentoring, and giving people opportunities to grow. We believe in finding the “diamonds in the rough” and helping them develop into strong leaders.
But here’s the challenge: If you’re a leader, your personal growth—or lack of it—sets the limit for your entire team. If you stop learning, stop taking feedback, and stop growing, you become the leadership lid. Personally, I don’t want to be the lid. I want God to determine how big or small something is—not my pride, my shortcomings, or my fear of change.
The Culture of Coaching
In football, even the best NFL quarterbacks have coaches. Why? Because they can’t see themselves the way others can. They need outside input to refine their game. Leadership is the same way. If I don’t invite feedback, I’m blind to my weaknesses. And if I don’t model a willingness to be coached, I can’t expect my team to embrace it either.
If I don’t invite feedback, I’m blind to my weaknesses. And if I don’t model a willingness to be coached, I can’t expect my team to embrace it either. Share on X
So how do you create a coaching culture in your church or organization? It starts with humility—being willing to hear feedback, even when it’s uncomfortable. It also requires discernment. Not all feedback is helpful or even accurate. Sometimes, people will come out of nowhere with “words from the Lord” or opinions that don’t align with reality. That’s why we need trusted people around us—wise counselors, elders, and teammates who help us test and filter what we hear.
One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is that sometimes, the truth about my leadership isn’t what I think it is. That’s why at Real Life Ministries, we use tools like 360-degree assessments—anonymous feedback from those we lead—to give us a clearer picture. It’s not always fun to hear, but it’s necessary. The goal isn’t to protect our egos; it’s to become better leaders so we can serve God’s people well.
Coaching vs. Criticism
Now, let’s be honest. Most people don’t love getting feedback, because it often feels like criticism. Our natural reaction is to get defensive, to justify ourselves, or to blame circumstances. But if we want to grow, we have to shift our mindset.
Instead of viewing feedback as an attack, we need to see it as a gift. The Bible says, “The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice” (Proverbs 12:15). Wise leaders seek out input because they know that the best way to get better is to invite others to help them see their blind spots.
Does that mean every piece of feedback is true? Not necessarily. Even Peter, one of Jesus’ closest disciples, spoke from the wrong perspective at times. Jesus had to correct him, saying, “Get behind me, Satan!” (Matthew 16:23). So we have to weigh what we hear against Scripture and the wisdom of trusted leaders. But if multiple people are telling us the same thing—if the pattern is consistent—it’s worth paying attention to.
Knowing When It’s Time for Change
Growth also means recognizing when a leader has reached their limit. As a church grows, the leadership skills required change. What worked at 300 members may not work at 1,000. Sometimes, that means coaching someone into a new role—or even transitioning them out of a leadership position.
That’s hard. We love these people. We’ve walked with them, poured into them. But if we allow someone to stay in a role where they’re no longer effective, we’re not doing them—or the church—any favors. The key is to handle these situations with grace and love, making it clear that their value isn’t tied to a title or position.
I’ve had to sit with people and say, “This isn’t about your worth or your character. It’s about making sure the church is healthy and effective in its mission.” And while some handle that conversation well, others don’t. That’s just reality. But if we aren’t willing to make hard decisions, we allow leadership bottlenecks that prevent the church from moving forward.
Success is Raising Up Others
At the end of the day, my goal isn’t to protect my position or my comfort. Success isn’t about how much I can personally accomplish—it’s about how many people I can equip to lead. That’s the model Jesus gave us. He poured into His disciples so they could go out and make more disciples. That’s what we’re called to do.
So here’s the question: Are you willing to be coached? Are you willing to receive feedback, even when it’s hard? Are you creating a culture where it’s safe for others to grow? Because if you’re a leader, your example sets the tone. If you want a team that embraces growth, you have to lead the way.
And if you’re looking for a practical way to assess your leadership, consider doing a 360-degree assessment. Invite trusted people in your life—your team, your family, your elders—to give you honest feedback. It may be uncomfortable, but I promise you, it’s worth it.
Because leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about being willing to grow, to be refined, and to model what it looks like to follow Jesus well. And that starts with being coachable.
For more on this topic – watch Episode 16 of The Church is a Team Sport Podcast
